Why? What I did (a) wrong? Regardless of who was the initiator of the parting, the breakdown of relations is always worried. How can you help yourself?
Relatively rarely people part by mutual calm agreement and then are able to maintain friendly and maintenance relations. More often, an injury of rupture leads a couple on the path of a war drawing in children, relatives, friends and burning everything around the latest volley system systems.
“It has long been clear that we were not a couple. The relationship was not that conflict or cold, they were no and even more painful. But when he stated that he was leaving, it was like a butt on the head ” – Maryana, 36 years old.
“How can he go to bed with another and do what he once did to me?! Well, yes, I said that we have not been sleeping together for a long time, but what does it matter?” – Sonya, 28 years old.
“She left when the father and brother died one after another. Even today, before disgust, it’s a shame that her departure hit me more than their deaths ” – Sergey, 43 years old.
“I don’t understand what I did, that she cannot
live with me?!” – Dmitry, 39 years old.
No science has the right part of the parting formula. But there are some things that a reminder of which can help abandon the tactics of scorched land and realize the resources of the crisis of relations.
“Now I am even grateful to her. Yes, it hurt. But if it were not for this autopsy of the abscess, life would probably have stretched out with a debilitating tragomotina, like a chronic infection ” – Sergey.
“I almost committed suicide then. I look around and think what kind of fool was. We recently accidentally intersected in one company: he and my wife and I and I and my husband. No tension. I thought that we were both good, we just don’t have to be in one bouquet, like lilies with poppies ” – Maryana.
It is easy to notice: usually parting passes in the same way as the relationship itself developed. This in general seems to be clear and cannot be otherwise, but. If the relationship in this vein has come to a dead end, what is the point of building a parting in the same vein, whether it will come to a dead end and it? Relations in one way or another were cooperation, being painful, but together.
Parting – gap “Together”, self -determination, independence. Is cooperation possible in parting? It begins with cooperation with oneself, with attempts to ask yourself ordinary ridiculous questions and find (your own) answers to them.
The most unproductive question: why? Everyone feels the right, and be calm, both will find a heap of reasons, encouraging to redo each other when one and the other will defend their rightness, resisting the alteration. Or “a! Someone started up with you?!”With aggression to the” thief “. Past: not relations are broken by the fact that someone wound up, but someone wound up because they are already broken.
For the outgoing, the question is important why, for what it leaves, and as a more specific answer from itself. Without this, care is an attempt to break out of the trap with a very high probability to immediately get into the following: “I can’t do it anymore under her heel” – and then the Yurk is under another.
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